Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category
One More Time
August 29th, 2010 by John P. Schumake
Excerpts from ‘One More Time’ by John P. Schumake
It was an experiment where monkeys, or orangutans were placed in a chair and there was a device built into the chair that simulated the sudden impact of a collision from the rear of a car, and it generally resulted in breaking vertebrae of the orangutans. ..
…There was a court ruling this past Monday by Judge Royce Lambert, U.S. district Court, that will prohibit Federal Grant money for going to use in projects that result in the destruction of a human embryo. ..
Posted in History, Humor, Religion, Social Issues | Comments (0)
Come Close. I Have a Secret to Tell You
August 22nd, 2010 by Juan Zapatero
Excerpts from ‘Come Close. I Have a Secret to Tell You’
…’Cat’s outa the bag, Obama’s a Muslim’….
…We all have secrets. Some of them are things that might embarrass us. Some of them are things that we consider essentially private, and though not embarrassing, still, even potentially hurtful to ourselves or others…
…I suggest that the hype created by all of this is really just welcome cover for a deeper darker secret, the squelched secret, of course, which most logical people would come to, that the president may indeed be a vampire, he along with Nancy Legosi, alias Nancy Pelosi…
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It Is the Best of Times, It Is the Worst of Times
August 15th, 2010 by Juan Zapatero
Picture a world where, if a thief comes to your place of business an electronic eye locks on him immediately, and a vertex of laser beams focused on his chest becomes immediately visible…
…The element of surprise has been turned around….
…weaponry like auto-responsive clothing that is able to address only the attacker with sharp invisible, yet painful barbs…
…Picture a world where no one tries to be politically correct. In this world everyone is initiated into society by a method practiced since ancient times…
…Picture a world where smaller social institutions, and inter-corporate affiliations, even guilds, if you will, become the defender of those abused by a drug infested gangs, because the large, lumbering government has become a slow and overstuffed dinosaur …
Who will restore hope and order? Thomas Jefferson? Eli Whitney? Andrew Carnegie perhaps, or maybe…
Madame DeFarge.
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Dropping the Big Ball, or From Ventures to Dentures
July 31st, 2010 by Juan Zapatero
Excerpts from DROPPING THE BIG BALL
…There’s an old story, which I heard down in Mexico, and I am told is true, about a man who daily rode a bike across the border from Mexico into the U.S., and then at night went back…
…The man/hours of productivity lost in this country, due to addictions are a weakening factor in our economy. The drain on the health care system, the lives destroyed and the crimes committed make drugs the single most damaging element in our society
…The guards at the crossing always checked him, and they too seemed convinced that he was somehow smuggling something …
…I would never venture to say that the Arizona Immigration Law is any sort of a panacea to stop the drug traffic…
…If the Obama Administration had made fighting drug use, stopping its importation, educating the youth, defeating the smugglers on the Federal level at the point of origin the priority, the Arizona border law would never have been considered…
…How do you make dentures for vampires… Is plumbing involved?
Posted in History, Humor, Social Issues | Comments (2)
ITS ALL ABOUT SHARING
July 24th, 2010 by Juan Zapatero
Excerpts from ITS ALL ABOUT SHARING
I was amused by the clever ploy of the Obama Administration to be willing to sabotage their own proposed extension of the unemployment benefits just to make Republicans look bad…
…What would unquestionably help to reduce the strain on Coal producing Energy Plants, and also reduce the potential of total electrical brown-outs during High Usage Periods would be an incentive for home owners to invest in …
…Unfortunately, a failure of the Utility Grid suits the government Share-Bears just fine…
Posted in Humor, National Energy, Social Issues | Comments (0)
What Does He Feed Off Of?
July 17th, 2010 by John P. Schumake
Excerpts from “What Does He Feed Off Of?”
So, “What’s a dog in the manger?”
The dog in the manger doesn’t want to eat out of the manger, but he won’t let anyone else eat. He just sits there and growls, baring his teeth at any entity that ventures close….
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The Persistence of Memory
July 10th, 2010 by Juan Zapatero
We are about to give up that sound mathematics to go into a new realm, a strange new Daliesque physics, the realm of expired tax cuts,
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Beatles, Ali, and Hamlet
June 5th, 2010 by Juan Zapatero
…when Muhammed ALI met the Beatles, or actually, it was the Beatles who went to meet ALI…
…An interesting aside to this is that Muhammed ALI, in that time period, was ‘the most written about’ human being on the planet…
…the footage of the Beatles actually meeting Ali, I became all the more aware of what a powerful man with a great sense of presence he [Ali] was and is, and what dainty little tittering birds the Fab-Four were.
…Bill Haley and the Comets was truly and uniquely American. Beautiful in its simplicity and marvelous in its ability to cheer people up and get them to dance…
…His [Obama's] announcement regarding the moritorium on drilling, and the litigation and regulation to come, sent Wall Street, (just about all sectors, except T-Bills) into a tail spin….
…President Bush rose to his authority, and made it his duty over the next 7 years of his administration to keep us safe. That’s the same President Bush that Paul McCartney thought we would all just so enjoy if he ridiculed him and made snide little comments towards the leader that protected him along with everyone else. Bush, like Ali, is too big to lower himself to these tittering comments.
…I will take that record down off the wall, along with some of my other British invasion albums. It is time for me to rediscover the American Experience. See, “I went down to the sacred store, where I’d heard the music, years before…” and I have the feeling that maybe, just maybe… the music will play.
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Sweep, or Vacuum if You Must
May 30th, 2010 by Juan Zapatero
Excerpts from ‘Sweep, or Vacuum if You Must’ by Juan Zapatero
The Buddhists have a philosophy: “Sweep your own corner of the world clean.”
…There was not a larger picture of what could serve to bring some cohesiveness and continuity to our continent.
…At any rate, Hillary’s haggard, less than inspired look is becoming the face that he Obama Administration is putting on for the rest of the world.
…One wonders, if her husband Bill [Clinton] isn’t still taking the fall for some of the Obama Administrations blunders, i.e., Sestak and some felonious job offers (Didn’t Bill and Hillary end up with some debt after the campaign that Obama and the Democratic party was able to some how ‘clear up?’ I’m musing. Help me remember the facts here…’ ‘Was it eight million dollars?’ Maybe there was more debt than we thought…)
…Today, the sad reality of oil-spills, contamination of Gulf coastal regions, North Korea, brazen and unafraid of this gentle touchy-feely, ‘let’s all hold hands and teach the world to sing…’ administration, is flexing its muscles against South Korea, and, by proxy, the United States.
…Incidentally, after all of these years and all of the oil spills, “Doesn’t anyone possess a tanker that is capable of vacuuming up oily water, and then is able to begin sending the cleaner, separated water back out to the sea?
Posted in Humor, National Energy, Social Issues | Comments (0)
Photographs Don’t Lie
May 23rd, 2010 by Juan Zapatero
Excerpts from Photographs Don’t Lie by Juan Zapatero
I found myself wondering why, when the economy was actually in a recovery mode the Obama -Pelosi Administration has headed at a breakneck speed towards reversing the gains the economy in general and Wall-Street in particular had begun making even as far back as October of 2008…
…Then it occurred to me, that word, “Break-Neck, Breakneck.” I kept saying that over and over until it started sounding like ‘Bite-Neck’, ‘Bite Neck.’…
… Teeth designed to slip over and conceal, you guessed it, very large and insidious and tell-tale, blood-sucking canines. That was it. I knew that I was on to something.
…
…You have to listen real closely, but if you have some really sophisticated equipment and a lot of patience, you can hear various individuals refer to the president as Barracula…
…but if you sit real quietly, and drink lots of coffee so you can stay up late, you will actually hear the real pronunciation of Nancy Pelosi’s last name which is… Now this is chilling… Not Pelosi, but Legosi. If that doesn’t make your heart stop…
…No not Nazi’s, but real sort of live vampires, why if they are all confederate with one another, and part of a growing league of non-individual monotone supporters…
..There was this rush to justice. Isn’t that a little strange for Chicago style politicians….
…But why did they throw Blagojevich over, and again I found myself back to looking at old pictures… I should have realized it without the pictures… It’s because, Blagojevich isn’t a vampire! He’s a werewolf. Look at the pictures!
…we’ll pick up with this as we see indicative turns in the economy and the job market that are pertinent to the topic. For now, just keep it under your hat.
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